Rand Paul Jokes (it's only fair)

I've run into so many democrat and liberal jokes, so many good ones, better than these, that I thought it only fair to devote a post to Rand Paul Jokes first. That way I can be totally transparent and up-front and post, with a clear heart of equality, the better ones. You'll see what I mean when you scroll down. Ya just can't beat a good Hillery joke. Can't think of another family that is always in some kind of trouble.

~ BREAKING: Rand Paul hit by drone fire during filibuster in what White House officials are calling "a complete and total accident." 

Submitted on March 7th, 2013 via twitter (one liner)

by: David Waghalter

~ Rand Paul helped slay NSA reform. What's next? John Boehner taking on the tanning industry? Mitch McConnell removing the stick from his ass?

Submitted on November 19th, 2014 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

 ~God help you if Rand Paul is giving the commencement address at your graduation.

Submitted on March 7th, 2013 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

~Rand Paul calls on GOP to "evolve." Silly Rand Paul, Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Submitted on January 31st, 2013 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

~ Rand Paul offers a beer summit to Chris Christie. Who knew Paul would adopt an Obama trait?

Submitted on August 1st, 2013 via twitter (one liner)

by: Dean Jennings

~Rand Paul says children got "profound mental disorders" after receiving vaccines, cites himself as example. @absrdNEWS

Submitted on February 3rd, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Michael Blackman

~Rand Paul's morning affirmations must take forever.

Submitted on March 9th, 2013 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

~CNN poll shows Rand Paul and Paul Ryan top list of GOP presidential hopefuls. Poll also shows nobody knows which one is which. @absrdNEWS

Submitted on March 16th, 2014 via twitter (one liner)

by: Tom Frawley

~The easiest way to vanquish Rand Paul is to just call him by his real name, Rumpelstiltskin.

Submitted on April 7th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

~Rand Paul is running for president. Your selfish friend who keeps trying to get you to read "The Fountainhead” won't shut up about it.

Submitted on April 7th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

BREAKING: Rand Paul guilty of plagiarizing Ron Paul's genes.

Submitted on November 5th, 2013 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

~Rand Paul says the GOP must reconnect with African Americans. Maybe they can start with the President.

Submitted on April 10th, 2013 via twitter (one liner)

by: Hayden Black

~If Rand Paul and Scott Walker are the GOP ticket... Get ready for "Paul Walker" signs everywhere.

Submitted on April 22nd, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Ralph Giordano

~"Since we've had an African-American President, it's time for an A**hole-American one" - Rand Paul "Or an A**hole-Canadian one!" - Ted Cruz

Submitted on April 9th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: kreisler

~"Shutdown Could Be Disastrous For Economy": What about 'getting rid of Government will save capitalism'? Did Rand Paul lie to me? #Yes

Submitted on April 8th, 2011 via twitter (one liner)

by: Joel Straley

~Saw a headline online that said "Dr. Rand Paul: 'Crisis Bigger than 2008 is Coming'" and I'm like we already know your son is running, dude.

Submitted on April 13th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Greg Manuel

~Rand Paul will announce his presidency as soon as his father rematerializes in this dimension.

Submitted on April 11th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: DNA

~Ever get the feeling that if Jesus were to have a second coming, it'd be to tap guys like Rand Paul on the shoulder and say, "Thats enough."

Submitted on April 9th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: JFMTheThird

~Rand Paul & Ted Cruz running for pres. Ever feel these guys know they can't win, but just doing it for free bus tour and housewife groupies?

Submitted on April 8th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Cory Jarvis

~Wait. The guy who owns Papa John's is on the Today Show talking about running for President. Oops, my bad. That's Rand Paul! #todayshow

Submitted on April 8th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: coopertalk

~Has Rand Paul sent anymore bees to swarm the President?

Submitted on April 8th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Patrick McLellan

~Rand Paul marked "Hysteric" on his voter registration form.

Submitted on April 7th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Warren Holstein

~Rand Paul is running for president to restore America to a crazy set of core values it never had before.

Submitted on April 7th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Matt Nedostup

~BREAKING: A Bitcoin contributed to Rand Paul's campaign has become the largest single donation ever.

Submitted on April 7th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: loganerik

~I’m amazed that while Ron and Rand Paul went into politics, Ru chose such a different path.

Submitted on April 7th, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Adam Nover

~Rand Paul wins CPAC straw poll for the third year. It's kind of like winning the Golden Globe but not the Oscar.

Submitted on March 1st, 2015 via twitter (one liner)

by: Adam Wolf

 

Dr. Rand PaulVerified account ‏@RandPaul

"Mr. President, let's set up a new trade. Instead of 5 Taliban, let's trade 5 Democrats!" #RPTCon14

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12:54 PM - 6 Jun 2014