Ya can't write jokes better than this:
Texas Rep. Ron Paul on Monday announced that five distant relatives of rival Mitt Romney’s family are endorsing his Republican presidential campaign.
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. Letterman
Ron Paul gets endorsement from five members of Romney’s family !
A news release from the Paul campaign boasts of having the support of Ty Romney, Travis Romney, Chad Romney, Jared Romney and Troy Romney. Three of the Romneys — who live in Idaho — will speak on Paul’s behalf during the state’s caucuses on Tuesday.
“I support Ron Paul because he defends the Constitution, loves America and understands what it means to be an American, including the right to live your life any way you want as long as you respect others,” said chiropractor Travis Romney, a second cousin once removed from Mitt Romney.
This isn’t the first time a family member of one of Paul’s rivals announced support for the libertarian-leaning candidate from Texas. Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum’s nephew, John Garver, penned a column for The Daily Caller endorsing Paul.
~ ~ ~ ~
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . .
and think 25 to life would be appropriate. (from Leno)
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for
it. (from Conan O'Brien)
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to
society. The other is for housing prisoners. Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the
ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America! Fallon
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers"
program?
and think 25 to life would be appropriate. (from Leno)
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for
it. (from Conan O'Brien)
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to
society. The other is for housing prisoners. Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the
ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America! Fallon
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers"
program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. Letterman
~ ~ ~ ~
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
Why do sports nerds need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for a sports fanatic than for someone else? When its time to regress back to his childhood, he's already there.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent sports fanatic? Big Foot has been spotted several times.
Q. What is the difference between a football and a sports fanatic?
A. The football goes farther when you kick it.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
Why do sports nerds need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for a sports fanatic than for someone else? When its time to regress back to his childhood, he's already there.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent sports fanatic? Big Foot has been spotted several times.
Q. What is the difference between a football and a sports fanatic?
A. The football goes farther when you kick it.
LBN-COMMENTARY By JOHN STOSSEL: “If you have 10,000 regulations,” Winston Churchill said, “you destroy all respect for law.” He was right. But Churchill never imagined a government that would add 10,000 year after year. That’s what we have in America. We have 160,000 pages of rules from the feds alone. States and localities have probably doubled that. We have so many rules that legal specialists can’t keep up. Criminal lawyers call the rules “incomprehensible.” They are. They are also “uncountable.” Congress has created so many criminal offenses that the American Bar Association says it would be futile to even attempt to estimate the total. |
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